Pollyspeak

Polly

Polly: “Wood sumbuddy PLEASE put dat man in da ground allredy… I dont cares if you is 99% plasstic 1% of you has ta start stankin at sum tyn.. how da hell do you ress in peace if yo fanly be dragin you ass all ova da danm place. Lard I has a emty plot at da Zeebock cematerry in da Texas panhanel dat day can has. Letz git sum dirt on dat manz!!!!!! “

Someone else: he owes Los Angeles 1.4 million as far as I”m concerned…….

Polly: Gurl…you make me laff. i wood send LA sum munny. But my CC be like MJ….plastic an BROKE

Someone else: PEK, U need to take this show on the road!

Polly: Da lass tyn I be on da road…. no buddy wood pik me up.. Sept dis one manz… an WE WONT GO DER …OK!!!!!

Someone else: I hopes day bury his dead, stinkin butt under neath that Merry Go Round…

Polly: NO!NO!NO!…Hunny dat wood scar da chilrin.

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This is an actual conversation that was going on at one of my social network sites.  I thought it was so funny I just had to share it with y’all.  It’s not meant to offend so if you’re offended……get over it.

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HAPPY TRAILS, Y’ALL

It’s That Time Again, Kids!

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Time for another edition of weird, wild, and wacky search terms that bring you sick people to my nice innocent little blog.  *wink*

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i want to slice my stomach off xlllllllI know the feeling but yikes….that would hurt!

is it ok to put a pickle in my butt? xlllllluhm……not just no but HELL NO!

oky ur a dumm ass ccccccco.k. apparently it takes one to know one.

perky women show your panties                      x Well, if you insist.  *wink*

even a dumbass can win xccccccYou haven’t seen me play SmartAss, have ya?

is messy handwriting a sign of intelligence                  xWell yes…..I believe it must be.

pay for crap           xDefine “crap”.

do women like a finger in the        xx pie?   That’s what you were going to say, right?

midlife women nude           xwell, we get hot easily so what can I say??

crotch tickling            x Hmm…..I’m not going there.

i feel rebellious in midlife             x Me too.  Tattoo anyone?

show me your crotch              x Uhm….no and what’s with all the crotch talk?

can you be french kissed with false teeth xcccccI have no idea and don’t want to find out, although I’d say YES probably.

what clothes do you wear in kauai in june xcccccWell in my case……someone else’s.  *shhhh….don’t tell*

custom made merkins xcccccThank you Fragrant Liar for this search.  ha!

snubbed by sil xcccccYes, I know the feeling well.

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I love seeing what brings you weirdos people to my place.   It brings a big smile to my face and really makes my day, especially when it gives me a big laugh.  You all are the best!

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HAPPY TRAILS, Y’ALL

Who Says Water and Fireworks Don’t Mix?

A little belated perhaps, but happy Independence Day to every American.  I’m proud to be an American and realize I won the birth place lottery even if I had to share my ticket with millions of others just like me.

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I remember celebrating the 4th of July at my grandparent’s farm in western Oklahoma.  I come from a huge family.  My Dad was one of 9 children and they all married and had children so when we all got together at the farm, we could have been considered a crowd.  A big crowd.

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We’d pop fireworks, pick corn right off the stalks and roast our plump juicy ears in the fire pit and Mama (what I called my Grandmother since I didn’t have a Mother) put out a spread that would feed an army.  Her army aka family.  Besides the camaraderie of of all my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, dad, and my sisters…….I most remember the time a Black Cat firecracker blew up in my hand.

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I didn’t lose any digits thankfully, but I remember looking down and expecting to see no fingers because I couldn’t feel them at all.  After a few seconds I started feeling them and they were throbbing and felt huge and hurt like hell, only back then I couldn’t think or say “hell” so I’m sure they hurt like heck.  Holy heck, batman…….that hurt!

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Since that fateful day, I’ve been more of a spectator when it comes to fireworks.  We had company over the weekend and spent a lot of time going and then going some more but each night we’d come back home and all 5 of us would jump in the pool and paddle around like little children.

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It’s been so hot in Texas that the water temperature in our pool has been between 92 degrees and 95 degrees which isn’t that refreshing when it’s 104 degrees outside, but at night it’s just right.  Saturday night we were swimming back and forth and enjoying the very comfortable water when a burst of fireworks went off in the distance.  We all stopped swimming and started the obligatory ooohhing and aaaaawing when another round was shot off in another area around us.  Before long we were watching fireworks on both sides while enjoying the feeling of pride in my America and fellowship with my husband and good friends.  It was one of the best Independence Day celebrations I’ve had in a very long time.

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My wish is for all Americans to be thankful and proud of our country and remember the sacrifices that have allowed us to be independent and free.

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GOD BLESS AMERICA, Y’ALL

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