Oh Crap, It’s All About Me.

If any of you have looked at the About Me section on this blog, you’ve probably noticed a bit of mystery with my photo(s).  I add the (s) because I’ve changed from the first photo which was of the bottom half of my face, to my newest photo of the side view of my entire face but covered by hat and glasses.   What’s up with that, you say?  O.k. maybe you didn’t ask that but I’ll tell you anyway.

I’m painfully timid and I hate the word shy, but it’s an accurate description as well.  I prefer to describe myself as quiet which I am in person but get me behind the anonymity of the Internet and I’ll talk your leg off.   I’ve got issues with self-esteem and can pretty well pinpoint the source of said issues, therefore I don’t want to be the center of attention ever! 

When all eyes are on me for any reason, you can bet my heart is pounding, my chest is squeezing the air out of my lungs and then my face gets flaming red.  Curse of being fair skinned, light eyed and red headed.  Yes, I truly am was a red head but now it’s browning out and I’ve got grey natural highlights so in my pictures I sometimes come off as a blonde, but trust me, I’m not a blonde.   Blondes have more fun, right?   Yep, I’m definitely not a blonde.  So that’s the story behind the photos and the reason behind this post. 

This post is to announce my impending huge leap (for me) into the blogging world without half my face missing or the obscurity that sunglasses and a hat provide.

I’ve been asked to be a guest blogger on another site and I let the euphoria overload my good sense and said “yes”.  Then I promptly had a panic attack, took a Xanax, and tried to think of every excuse in the world to back out until I finally decided to suck it up and as Nike would say, “Just Do It!”.

I had no stinkin idea what to write about that would be good enough.  I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy kept playing over and over in my head like a badly scratched record.  You remember records, right?  I thought you did.  Anyway, I made myself sit down and start writing.  I even sent a rough draft to my sister who uncharacteristically picked this time to not view and promptly answer her email and encourage me to forge on with this mission.  I was on a time crunch so after not hearing from Sis and revising it approximately 37.8 times, I finally closed my eyes and hit send and it was out of my hands. 

Then I fixed a big stiff drink and sat on the couch muttering to myself, Why did I do that?  What was I thinking?  How can I get that email back and get out of this mess?   Then I decided to stop beating myself up and live with the consequences, whatever they might be.   Rejection?  Ridicule?  Apathy?   None of those would kill me right?  O.k. I can do this and it will be fine and no one will even read it so everything is right with the world again. 

Now that I’ve confessed a few of my weakness, I’ll tell you something else.  Secretly I’m smiling inside because I did something terrifying and survived.  No, the blog is not out yet and when it is I will share that with you as well.  I’m not trying to be secretive, I’m just not sure where exactly it will be since the owner of this fabulous blog mentioned something about a newsletter, her blog, and the blog….but you can bet you’ll get a heads up and a link and my entire face will be showing for all the world to see.  Be ye kind, everyone.

Oh crap, what was I thinking???

HAPPY TRAILS, Y’ALL