Cuss Words and Giggles

SIL & Stubborn

My weekend was filled to the brim with entertaining kids and grandkids and to top off all that fun, I had to drive five hours back to Oklahoma on a very busy holiday travel day with all the other idiots who were racing home to get children back in school.  Ugh! *please note I’m included in the idiots remark*

I wasn’t surprised when my grandchildren declared they were riding back with me instead of their parents, since I’ve got the vehicle with the DVD player and even with that, it’s a long trip for little ones who start asking “are we there yet?” when only 30 miles into the nearly 300 mile journey.   I was sick to death of We were all tired of the movies we had in the SUV so I bribed them with a promise of buying two new movies for the return trip if they’d not ask me every 10 minutes “how much farther?”.

We made a stop at Target and they quickly picked out two movies and Sassy (7 yr. old granddaughter) scanned the clothes while Stubborn (4 yr. old grandson) kept saying “let’s check out.  let’s go, Grammy.”  That was one of the few times he and I were in total agreement.  I was ready to go since I wanted to be driving out of town by 10 a.m.   Sassy got a tween movie about Camp Rock and Stubborn got Ice Age 2.  I think it had a different title than “2″ but I can’t remember right off hand and I’m too lazy to look it up. 

We loaded up.  The kids had a screaming fight over whose movie got played first.  We finally left town at 11:30 a.m.  What happened to 10 a.m.?

Sassy won the movie argument because she’s bigger and she knows how to run the DVD which puts Stubborn at a huge disadvantage which is why he resorts to screaming like a Banshee to get his way.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.  That day it didn’t. 

She IS Sassy

I didn’t mind listening to Camp Rock but when it was time for Ice Age 2, I grabbed the ear buds and plugged in to my iPhone tunes.  Stubborn boy watches the original Ice Age no less than 10 times every time he comes to Texas to visit and I’m sick of it. I can repeat it word for word, which is scary since I sometimes forget my own telephone number.   So I’m driving along, rocking out to Incubus, Lifehouse, and Jonny Lang when suddenly we were nearly rear ended just after I nearly rear ended the car in front of me who nearly rear ended the truck in front of him. 

It was a symphonic sequence of squealing smoking tires and imagined collective gasps, or in my case a rather large string of four letter words.  I didn’t say them out loud but I really wanted to.  I’ve been rear ended before and it wasn’t fun so I was braced for the worst and this time I had two extra passengers to consider.  I had a split second to process all the data and determine I was going to be up chit creek if the guy behind me didn’t have really good brakes because I had no where else to go but right up the butt end of the car in front of me if I couldn’t get stopped. 

I did and he did.   *whew*

Everything in the back flew to the front and the kids thought it was fun and wanted to do it again.  I scowled at them which made them laugh even harder.  To calm my nerves, I plugged back in the ear buds and got lost in the 70’s and my skinny care free days with Lynyrd Skynyrd. (No, I wasn’t skinny and carefree with Lynyrd. Just the music.)  After a while I realized there was hysterical giggling waifing in and mixing with the 70’s rock so I started watching the rear view mirror to see what was going on in the back seat.  Sassy kept reaching up to the DVD player and then she’d settle back and in a few seconds they’d both break out into a fit of laughter.  I thought maybe I should unplug from the tunes and listen.  She was reaching up to back up the DVD a little and then they’d both burst out laughing and I still couldn’t figure out what was so funny so I asked.  In reply, Sassy said “turn it up and listen, Grammy” so I did.  I couldn’t see the screen to see what was talking and the voice was kind of indistinguishable as to whether it was male or female but it was saying “DAY yum”.  My grandchildren thought it was hysterical that this word was being used in one of their movies. I didn’t think it was so funny and in fact, it flat out pissed me off, that someone felt it needed to be in that movie made especially for kids.

I put a stop to the repeat performances and ditched the ear buds so I could listen to the rest of the movie which seemed to be o.k from there on, although I was told later that there was another bad word just before damn.  It was ass.

I’d just like to ask the damn ass who felt the need to include those two words in a movie made especially for smaller children, what his damn ass was thinking and then I’d like to kick his damn ass until I made my point very clear.   Am I overreacting?  Is this normal in kids movies these days?  Does saying these days make me sound like an old person who goes around talking about “the kids these days”?   Should I write the damn ass who produced that movie and give him/her a piece of my damn ass mind?  Maybe I should just stop saying damn ass, take a Xanax and forget about it. 

HAPPY TRAILS, Y’ALL