Back The Heck Off! Please?

  

I forgot to mention that over at Jan’s Sushi Bar, there’s a Halloween contest going on so scoot on over there and tell her your best Halloween story. 

                      

 

 

After spending 9 hours trying to get home Tuesday, I had the lovely pleasure of jumping back in the gas guzzling SUV Wednesday morning and driving 2 hours to get a pabst beer.  (SMB says they don’t have pabst beer in her neck of the woods) *wink wink* 

 

Road construction slowed me down but I made it to my appointment by 10 a.m. and by 10:30 a.m. I’d disrobed, been violated, prodded, probed and re-robed then sent away.  Next year, same time same place, the fun happens all over again.   YeeHaw.

 

After all that fun I got back in the SUV and sent SMB a Twitter to which confused the heck out of her and therefore explains why there is no pabst beer in the Sunshine State. 

 

She made me laugh, as usual, and all was right with the world so the next best thing I could do for myself was head to my favorite sushi place.  The mall.  Yes, I’m serious.  I’ve eaten at several sushi place’s in Oklahoma City and the best I’ve found is at Penn Square Mall. 

 

Now I’m pretty sure some of you snobs think just a tiny bit less of me so we’ll move on with the story.   The sushi was wonderful and since I had no other deadlines for the day, I decided to stroll leisurely around the mall for a while and just window shop since I hadn’t done so in quite some time. 

 

Within a few minutes I was accosted by a young man wanting to rub some cream on my arm and I politely shook my head, said “no thank you” and kept walking.

 

I keep moving along and the next kiosk I pass, there is an older man waving a 2009 calendar at me and telling me I need to get my next years calendar before it’s too late.   Too late for what, I want to say, but I don’t because I’m afraid of the answer.  I just smile and tell him I’m in a really big hurry and maybe another time.  I pick up the pace and stroll a little faster.

 

I’m still trying to enjoy my walk through the mall when a hand reaches out like it’s going to grab me and suddenly this young lady is walking along beside and she wants to file my fingernails.   Uh, no.  I have no fingernails because I can’t seem to remember they aren’t tools.  She assures me her miracle file will not only make my fingernails grow so strong I can throw all my screwdrivers away, but they will also be lovely, long, and beautiful.   I’m not buyin it so I speed up a bit faster and look around furtively trying to navigate a path away from other kiosks. 

 

It was not meant to be.  I take a few more steps and I’m nearly startled out of my skin by a young woman who jumped out from behind her store-in-a-box and loudly says “hello ma’am!  Do you straighten your hair?” and she was coming at me with one of those hair ironing tools that will burn a permanent hickey on your neck that will only make you look guilty the more you try to explain what really happened and leave you scarred for life.  Trust me, I know what I’m talking about here. 

 

She was opening and shutting that Chia something or other like jaws on a shark  and I swear I heard dun dun ….dun dun…..dun dun dun dun dun dun……

So I started running down the mall as fast as I could to end this hellish kiosk vulture ridden leisurely mall stroll. 

 

Just as I was about to make my escape through the doors that would take me to freedom my car, the most divine smell lured me off course.  I broke course and stood gazing into a gleaming white case.  I coveted those beauties and finally gave in and plunked down cold hard cash for an almond pretzel at Auntie Anne’s.  It never fails though.  There were all those perfect pretzels lined up in rows and the server grabs the only burnt one of the bunch, places it in the sack, and hands it to me with a smile.  

 

I took the burnt pretzel and my plans of a leisurely stroll through the mall, and left them both at the door as I walked out into the bright sunshine and finally took that lovely stroll through the parking lot to my gas guzzling SUV that would take me back home.

 

Do these aggressive sales tactics work on you?  Are you polite?  Do you stop and listen?  Are leisurely walks through the mall a thing of the past? 

 

HAPPY TRAILS, Y’ALL