Bitchy Rears Her Ugly Head

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Hunka Burnin Love has been all excited and annoyingly getting prepared for his guy trip that he’s embarked on this weekend and it’s really caused a cosmic upset in the balance that is our lives.   He’s been all stressed out making sure his office work is caught up, plans for our upcoming vacation were nailed down, his parents were taken care of,  the SIPs  were ordered for the building project,  I had all the feeding instructions for Missy, our horse…..and all the cows, and making sure I had everything I needed to keep this place running, such as propane, animal feed, and uhm……wine.    Yes, wine is a must when it’s girls weekend too, so don’t be rolling your eyes.   It’s important, dammit!

When HBL gets excited or anxious he gets chatty.  Not just talkative, but nonstop running commentary of every single thought that crosses his mind and even some that completely missed his brain and came straight out the mouth.   I’m pretty good at tuning him out most of the time but sometimes he strikes a nerve.  For instance, last night I turned off the light as I was coming out of the bathroom that opens into our bedroom and headed for my side of the bed like I do every night I’m in Texas.    HBL said “don’t stump your toe.”   What?  I’ve been navigating our bedroom in this house for over 4 years.  In. the. dark.   I asked him why he said that and he replied that he just didn’t want me to stub my toe on the blanket box that resides at the end of our bed.   The blanket box that has sat in the same spot for 4 years, at the end of our bed.   The same blanket box I’ve made sure I walk around so I don’t stub my toe, for the past 4 years.

It irritated me that he thought he needed to tell me to watch out so I grumbled a little.   It’s not like I go around stubbing my toe every night on the freaking blanket box or anything like that so what’s the deal?    I might have said something to give him some indication of my irritation and of course, he just laughed at me.  Grrrr…..

Incident over and all is well until 5:15 a.m.  and HBL is running around all excited like a friggin teenager going on his first date getting ready and I’m getting myself ready so I can drive him in to town to meet the guys and he starts in with all these instructions.  Have fun but be careful. *like I needed to be told that?*  Be sure the door is shut good on the feed barn or the cows will get in there. *duh* Make sure the gate is locked so the calves don’t get out.  *nah.  I was thinking I’d leave it open so I could chase them all over the damn place in my jammies again because it’s so much fun*  If Comet crosses paths with Jupiter and there is a full moon, make sure you water the lemon tree in the greenhouse because I just know it’s going to produce fruit this year if we hold our mouths just right. *o.k. I made that one up, but I’m certain he was thinking it*

Enough already!  Geezzz….this isn’t my first rodeo ya know.   I’m an independent woman so hear me rraarrrr.

Before he left town I needed to make sure I could find the post office box key because I was expecting a package from my nephew so I had to ask where the keys were and he told me.  They’re in my truck in the cup holder beside the stick shift. *oh as opposed to cup holder on the front bumper?*

O.k.

The key is the one that looks like a post office box key.

That’s when I lost it.   It’s 6 a.m. and he’s leaving for 3 days and I lost it.   I start ranting and raving about how I’m not a child and it really pisses me off when he treats me like I’m too dim to take care of myself……..blah blah blah.

That’s when he looks at me with those sad puppy eyes and says…..Can’t you see that I just love you so much I want to make things easier for you and I want you to be safe and I want you to be happy?   Can’t you take it like that instead of feeling like I’m bossing you around or treating you like you’re dumb?

Oh.  Well.   When you put it that way.

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Some times bitchy takes over my body and especially my mouth.  Every time he forgives me.

How does one find that balance of independence yet trust in letting someone care for them?  That’s my biggest struggle in this marriage because it’s something I’ve never had to deal with.   What’s your advice?

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HAPPY TRAILS, Y’ALL

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May I Please Buy A Vowel?

I’ve made some really great friends here in the blogsphere, some I like better than others but I love all of them and they each have their own special place in my heart.   As I’ve learned from having children, you don’t always like someone even if you will always love them.

Having said  that, I dislike Smart Mouth Broad at this moment.   No, don’t get me wrong.  I still love her but right now I dislike her.  The opposite of love isn’t dislike, you know.  It’s apathy.  Honestly, I can definitely say I learned this through my relationship with  my ex-husband.

Why do I dislike  SMB, you ask?   Oh, you didn’t?  Well, I’ll tell you anyway.   There was this letter thingy going around and I’ve done it before and I’ve handed out letters and all was fun so when it started going around again, I bit.  Again.   First I told Nothing Fancy I’d take a letter and she so kindly gave me the letter “C”.   I love NF and her letter “C” and her sweet personality and all the pictures she shares of hot guys, but only in a non-stalking, non-sexual, non-weird kind of way, just so no one misunderstands me.

Now for the why part of this post as to why I dislike SMB.   She played the letter game and since I thought I might need a good easy post for when I was lazy on busy days, I asked her for a letter since I was certain I could handle two letters at a time. Pfsssttt….piece of cake, right?  Wrong!    SHE gave me the letter “V”.  “V”!! Can you believe she’d do that to moi?  V??  Who gives out the letter V in a letter meme thingymabob?  Apparently SMB does, that’s who.   Grrrrrr……

I know I know….stop with the whining and suck it up, MLS.  O.k. enough of my raves and rants.  Let the games begin.

First off will be the easy one, which would be the letter “C”, given to me by the dear sweet, Nothing Fancy.

Cake. I love cake.  White cake, yellow cake, strawberry cake, lemon cake, Italian creme cake, carrot cake, *talking like Forrest Gump* you name it and I probably love it if it’s cake.   I don’t really like chocolate cake except for the buttermilk chocolate sheet cake I make, but I’m a serious cake lover which is evident by looking at my arse.

Coffee. I didn’t start drinking coffee until I was over 50.  Even now I have to have as much French Vanilla fat-free creamer in it as I do coffee so I’m not sure if it’s technically coffee, but it’s mmm…mmm…good and I finally feel like an adult because I can say “Yes, I drink coffee”.

Candy. Especially Sugar Babies when I’m eating popcorn at the movie theater.  I’m one of those bad ones that bring in my own candy, but only because no one sells Sugar Babies.

Cookies.  Are you seeing a pattern here?  Sweets are my weakness just ask anyone viewing me from behind.  I love peanut butter cookies the best, and then just about any other kind except chocolate.  I’d even rather have chocolate chip cookies without the chocolate chips which leads me to wonder if they are technically chocolate chip cookies if they don’t have chocolate chips.  ????

Cameras. I love my camera and take it every where.  I only wish it wasn’t so big and bulky.   I want to marry my camera.  Would that make me a digicambigomist?

Calf Fries. aka Rocky Mountain Oysters.  Bull nuts.  I love love love them, but they are the grossest looking things before they are peeled and cooked….and yes, I said peeled.

Cheap. As in being frugal.  Nothing makes me happier than finding a great deal on something I’ve got to have.

Children. Mostly just my children and grandchildren but also lots and lots of other children.   Life would be so boring without children to entertain us and keep us on our toes.

Cold Weather. I’m a cold weather person and during those winters in Texas that have been really mild, I’ve been so disappointed that I couldn’t bundle up in layers or crank up the fireplace.  I love cold weather.

Church. Not just any church.  My church. It’s a Cowboy Church and when they say “come as you are” they aren’t just saying that, they mean it.  How many churches have you ever attended where you were greeted by men and women on horseback?  They have a full band at my church and the music is awesome.  At the end of the service, they sing “Happy Trails”.   What’s not to love about this church?

Well, that was easy and I’d really like to thank Mrs. Fancy for giving me such a great letter.  Then there’s SMB and her *%@K^! letter “V”.   Now that I’ve stomped my feet, cried a little, and kicked the cat (not really because he disappeared) I’ll attempt to tell you things that I love that start with “V”.

Valentine’s Day.  But not for the candy and flowers which I never get because I’m not a flower and candy type person, but because that’s the day HBL proposed.  (yes, everyone can say…awwwwwww)

Vacations. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to take a real vacation but from what I can remember, I love them.  We’re planning a vacation to Hawaii sometime in May and I can’t wait.  WooHoo!  *crossing fingers and toes*

Violins. But I call them Fiddles and there’s nothing better than good fiddle music in western swing or country music.

Vision. If these were in order, this would have to be at the top.  I can’t imagine not being able to see the beauty of this world and the faces of my loved ones.

Voices. Music to my ears, unless I’m sick of listening to you.  *wink*

Vibrators. Well…..you asked, and besides…..I’m talking about the one for my neck.   duh

Vino. Which is another word for wine.  Blush or anything cheap and sweet is my vino of choice.

*crap, how many more???*

Victory. Who doesn’t like to be victorious, which is what I’m feeling since I’ve almost listed 10 “V” words that I love.

Vigor. As in vim and vigor.  I miss those two so much.     *sigh*

Vehicles. Without them I’d be stuck in one spot.  *o.k. I’m grasping at straws here….ggrrrrrrr*

Whew!  That was tough and now that it’s over with, I’d like to thank my *ahem* friend, Smart Mouth, but I can’t because my Daddy taught me not to say things I don’t mean.   I owe you one, SMB.  *wink*   As for the rest of you, I’m not going to ask if you want a letter.  If you do want one, get a dictionary.  I’m tired and cranky and counting the hours until “girls weekend” starts and I can officially drink and eat again so until then…………………….

*No relationships were damaged in the making of this post.  This post was written with love, even the “dislike” parts which are completely untrue.*

HAPPY TRAILS, Y’ALL

Janie Needs…….what??

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Meet the boss.

I couldn’t resist copying CroneAndBearIt, as well as Dog Girl and doing the “What do you really need” post.  I Googled the phrase “Janie needs” and these are some of the things that showed up.  I laughed at how appropriate some of them were.  The black type is what the search showed and the blue is my response.  duh, right?

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Janie needs to make an appointment at the doctor and explain her symptoms to him. …Uhhm……this is just a little too true.

Janie needs reassurance from Tea Cake that he loves only her, …and who is Tea Cake, pray tell??

Janie needs relevance….yep, that’s what I need….relevance.

Janie needs a man’s …..what??  A man’s what????  Don’t leave me hanging here.

Janie needs a place to stay because her boyfriend just ended up in jail and she has no place to go…..Uh oh, I’ve got some ’splainin to do now.

Janie neeeeeeds to be scared, this girl is soo hilarious!!…..scared?  I don’t get it.

Janie is… well to put it politely a basket case today….this is so true most days.

Janie needs this medication refill monthly….ain’t that the truth!

Janie needs to turn 2 more or gain 36 more Vampire points to reach the next level: Vampire Temptress! Janie should get out there and bite some people!……Huh?  Bite some people?  ewwww…I’m too much of a germaphobe to bite anyone.

Janie NEEDS a roomie for next year!…..HBL, is there something you’re not telling me??

Janie needs to marry up the social ladder…..no thank you.  HBL is too social for my stay at home blood as it is.

Janie needs enough help at home to rest and to recover…yes.  Yes I do.  Send help.  I need rest.

Janie needs assistance in paying for extensive travel, food and lodging costs…o.k. maybe it’s money for extensive travel, etc.  Yep, that’s it……send money.

Janie needs a place to hide out….uhm…well, not at the moment but you never know when this might be true.

And last but not least…………………….

Fortunately, all Janie needs is love….and that, folks……it’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

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Switching gears here a little, you should go visit Smart Mouth Broad and see what she won by playing the guessing game on this post.  I didn’t tell anyone they would win a prize.  I’m sneaky like that sometimes.  It just goes to show, you never know what leaving a comment will get you.

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HAPPY TRAILS, Y’ALL

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